i spent this past weekend in new hampshire with all the navigator girls. the weekend was designed to provide us with a change of scenery, time to get to know one another on a deeper level, and time to dig deeper into god's word. truth be known, i was anything but excited about this weekend. road trips with 25 girls, entire weekends without showers, and the state of new hampshire in general don't excite me. to me, it was a "let's don't and say we did" type of thing. nonetheless, i am a woman and i am spending my summer with the navigators, so it was off to new hampshire for me.
i will not discuss, at this point, the weekend in it's entirety because a lot of it was simply empty farm land, stinky cows, and cold new england weather... but there was one very special moment for me this weekend. it made putting my poor southern body through some unforgiving "new englandness" definitely worth it.
our study this weekend was on the book of ephesians. we, first, spent time alone reading and studying ephesians. later, we discussed questions and topics from ephesians in small groups, and we closed out the weekend by having a group discussion... yes, 25 girls talking. i didn't know what to expect from the large group time. ephesians has so many things in it worth discussing; i had no idea what form the conversation would take. like always, people were timid in the beginning. there wasn't much talking or discussing, so laura, our leader for the weekend, directed our attention to chapter 6 verse 1. "children obey your parents in the lord, for this is right." we read that section together, and then laura simply posed the question, "what are some things that you like about your parents as individuals?" people began to slowly open up. small statements about love, kindness, generosity, etc were made. this question was something i hadn't ever really sat down and thought about before. most of the time i think about my parents as a duo. i think that is a wonderful way to think of a married couple... but they still are two completely different people. here are some conclusions i came to...
dad, i love your sense of humor. the first thing i think of when i think of you is the way you make me laugh. you also appreciate my sense of humor which means the world to me. i also love the passion with which you do things. when you find something you love, you go at with all that you have. this is very respectable and is a great example for me. i also am inspired by the faith you have that god will work everything out. i don't say this in a careless way, but in an optimistic way. i love your worry-free approach to life.
mom, your organization is what holds our family together. i love your list-making addiction
that i have shamelessly adopted, and the way you manage time, money, and every other part of life is beautiful to me. i look to your example in these areas because of the diligence you have. more than anything else, i love that in every memory from my childhood, you are there. everywhere from sitting in the car in the carpool line to sitting in the stands at the games i cheered for. i never felt forgotten.
the next question laura posed was, "what would you change about your parents/childhood?" this question and the answers people gave are what really hit home for me this weekend. the group of girls here in vermont this summer is very diverse. we are from all over the country, all different religious denominations, and as i found out this weekend, very different upbringings. girls began to share about childhoods in non-believing families, childhoods without love, childhoods without fathers, childhoods with mentally unstable mothers, and the list goes on. i sat there in awe at the stories my friends were sharing. however, the thing that baffled me the most was that these stories were not shared as complaints. not one person told their story with resentment. their stories were full of love and forgiveness for the people that had hurt them the most. these girls ability to find the best in their parents and in their situations was astounding. i sat there and listened for a while, but there came a point when i couldn't keep quiet any longer... and this is what i shared:
i tried so hard to find similarities in my childhood to the ones being shared about, and yet not once could i truly compare. love was abundant in my house. my parents loved each other, and they loved my sister and i. communication was not an issue. never was i hurt physically or emotionally. my childhood was as close to perfect as my parents were capable of making it. the sad thing is, is that i have never thought of it that way. i always choose to focus in the negatives or, i my opinion, shortcomings. except in this case, my negatives aren't really negatives at all. they are all simply the selfish desires of my heart. the stories of my new friends were unbelievably humbling. i have a newfound respect for the parents god has given me and the childhood god blessed me with.
this week is my beautiful parent's 25th wedding anniversary! i am so extremely happy for and proud of them. the example they have set for me is amazing. i know for years i have made sure my mom knows everything she has done and is doing wrong in raising me, but oh how wrong i have been! i am coming to realize that i would give anything to be for my kids half the mom my mom was and is for me. my parents are even spending their anniversary here in burlington just to be with me. i think that says a lot right there about who and what they truly value.
i know this was deep... maybe a little too deep, but i needed to express in writing how blessed i truly am. the lord revealed this to me this weekend in a way like never before. i feel closer to my friends up here and to my family thanks to a weekend in piermont, new hampshire. who knew?
be expecting a blog post soon covering my experiences in new hampshire. the pictures are plentiful... as are the stories! and if you get the chance, congratulate my parents on 25 years. that's a long time for a couple of high school sweethearts from birmingham, alabama. i can't wait for many more years to come!
respectfully,
b
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