Before we're changing like the seasons in our dreams..

Ok, around finals time, I'm always looking for new means of procrastination. One of my favorite methods of avoiding work is reading other people's blogs. I find myself frustrated when no one seems to be updating, but then I realized that I hadn't yet blogged this week. So, for all of you out there looking to procrastinate, this one's for you.

Summer this year is a paradox for me. Let's look at this from both sides. On the one hand, it cannot get here fast enough. I'm so sick of classes, schedule, and work. I yearn for my front porch with a good book and a rockin' summer playlist. I want to sleep until I wake up and then catch up on Top Chef in the bonus room. I want to go to the pool and read Entertainment Weekly. I want to go to the beach with my family and play Monopoly and eat M&Ms. I want to get thrown out of my comfort zone to minister to the people of Haiti. I want to catch up with old friends and sit outside the Starbucks by Fresh Market on a humid night. I'm three finals and four days away from this bliss.

Then again, there are things I don't want summer to bring with it. I don't want summer to take Katie to Vermont and Margaret to California and Sarah to Africa. I don't want to move out of my dorm room in Riverside and the memories it holds. I feel like I'm just getting moved in. I don't want to admit to myself that my freshman year of college is over, and I'm three years away from the terrifying precipice of real life. I don't want to be separated from the people that I see everyday. I don't want my friends who are juniors to become my friends who are seniors and then go off and leave me. I don't want to experience withdraws from Jimmy John's, Pita Pit, and Bento. I'll miss watching shows on a Monday night at 13th Street. I'll actually miss not planning every hour of my day and working towards a goal.

But then there's next year. The summer will end, and I'll be sad to see it go. The fall will come and it will be exciting and familiar and busy. I'll be ready for schedule and something to keep me busy, but until then I'm left feeling nostalgic and sentimental and antsy as I should be studying.

So there you have it. A paradox within my personality. What else is new, though? I am a self-proclaimed walking contradiction. Here's to summer and an awesome freshman year. 

That was cathartic.

Happy Studying,

Katie K.