let it be.

i've gotten myself into this weird pattern where i can't sleep. i don't really know what to blame it on; it just is. i think being at home and off of my normal schedule is logically part of it... but with me, who knows? anyways, thanks to my sleepless night, you get a blog post.

i found today to be one of the more humbling days in my life. it's funny how humility always seems to be a goal, but no one really is constantly humble. it takes an event to bring you to a humbled state. my "event" was filling out job applications.

as mentioned in my previous blog post, i am unemployed which is not making my bank account very happy, soooooo i am simultaneously on a job hunt for a part time job in tuscaloosa and a job in birmingham for the highly anticipated holiday season. so along with "finding myself" aka choosing a major, all the festivities of homecoming week, whipping my body into shape, starting a healthy diet, and saving the world, one could say that my hypothetical plate is pretty full. i'll let you be the judge.

as with any overwhelming situation (and for those that know me, you know that i find most situations to be rather overwhelming... some even ending in panic attacks and such), it must be taken one step at a time. each step completed is a small victory, and i celebrate my small victories with much enthusiasm!

today (with a kick in the butt from the parentals), i decided to face the fact that i needed a job for christmas break. by about 4:30 this afternoon (mid-alabama game, i might add), i worked up enough energy/courage to walk store to store at the summit asking for job applications. with this activity, the boundary of my comfort zone had been crossed, but i did it! small victory. whoop yeah!

once back at home with my treasured job applications, the real work began. i filled out job application after job application as i pretended to watch the lsu/florida game. it was not a fun process, and the worst part about it was filling out my employment history. before actually having to write it out 10 times, i would have been pleased, possibly proud of my previous employment. i lifeguarded for 3 summers in high school... clearly a "cool kid" job. then i stepped it up a notch with a 5-6 month run in retail at anthropologie; however, rounding out my stellar resume is the glorious 2 months of slicing deli meat and cheese at the price chopper, a discount grocery store in the booming metropolis of burlington, vermont. write that out 10 times and then tell me that you haven't begun to question everything in your life. thus the humbling i spoke of before.

realizing that i spent 2 precious months of my life behind a deli counter wearing a black and white checkered apron asking, "now would you like that 1/2 lb of black forest ham sliced thick or thin," brought me to a state of humility. i'm pretty dang sure that bath&body works isn't looking for someone with special training with meat slicer or that vera bradley requires their employees to know the difference between a honey smoked and an oven roasted turkey. even still, the Lord will provide.

so that was my weekend in a nutshell. why didn't i go to oxford again??

roll tide forever,

b